YOOOOO. (:

today wasnt a happy day. =(

had breakfast with family in the morning and later watched 微笑PASTA xD den later, while trying to help my mother in housework, i talk back to her.

i thought i had mature since last yr, i thought.. my temper's much better and i thought, i wont say things to hurt my own family members anymore. but i was wrong. i did it today. wtf. i say something to have hurt my mother (not very badly, but i still hurt her). she didnt say anything or even scold me for it. ='( i wish she had scolded me or what. she didnt. she just kept quiet for a while and carried on with her work.

haiz, why didnt she scold me or even shouted at me (long since she last raised her voice at me)? i still lose to myself. i once said that i dont wish to lose my temper towards my family members regarding anything ANYMORE and i did it today. ok, maybe.. i always say things to hurt yvonne and my bro but they did the same thing back to me. this dont count la..

although my mother is the one who started this today because she say we're lazy. i should have just kept my mouth shut and just keep my comments to myself. but me being me, i hate being accused so.. yeah.

and i cant bring myself to even say SORRY MUMMY. wtf again. there's never grudges between family members and.. tada. since young, whatever i does to hurt my parents, i would never bring myself to say SORRY. 在家人面前，“对不起”这三个字真的好难说出口噢... my mother wasnt even angry with me ok. she even said bye to me before she went to work.

i felt so damn guilty, bad and sad. @_@ whatever la, i will try my best not to let history repeats itself and tmr.. i'll try to be a better girl. =P i mean, thats the least i could do right.

being the middle child in the family is never easy for me

after reflecting on my own actions today, i realise..
i wont do things to please anyone but my family members are the exceptionals. i would do anything just to make them happy and i'll talk back, attitude or even scold anyone who makes them sad.. yet, i'm always making my own family members sad. i'm gona change this habit. 家人因该是被疼爱的，不因该成为我的出气筒... i've always taken advantage of having a marvellous family and.. yes, dump my problems or even attitude them just because.. 本小姐不开心... &my family always accept this side of me and never ever did they once tell me 你不开心关我们屁事？ never did they say this to me.. if i did this anyone, friends or whoever, maybe i would have gotten a tight slap. =P

i think i couldnt ask for a better family. no others would tolerate my temper, my anger, my attitude like they do. they accepted 任性的我 and love me all the same.. so..

i love my family alot alot~ [: